silent prayers left unheard
by peroxide blue
Summary: I can almost feel my guardian angel/Packing up his things/ready to leave my life/As soon as I fall asleep. Castiel has left without any kind of warning, and the Winchesters may be facing the scariest thing of their lives- solitude. In which Sam and Dean will have to learn how to live knowing Cas has abandoned them and that he may not come back. Destiel if you squint.


**Uh, hi, fellow Supernatural fans. This is my first work for this fandom (which I absolutely adore) and a good example of what kind of disaster happens when you have feels but you haven't finished watching the whole series. So yeah, don't do this at home.**

**This is pure dialoge, to, uh, represent (and I can't believe how stupid this is going to sound) how blind Sam and Dean are about the reason behind Cas' disappearance. If you just read dialogue, you can't know what the characters feel or think, you are just aware of their actions; kind of how the Winchesters didn't know why Castiel left, just that he did.**

**So. That was pretty much everything. This is probably very confusing, but if you have any doubts you can always ask.**

**By the way, there's another AN at the end of this work that talks about the main points of this.**

**WARNING:**** The characters are probably OOC. What do you expect, the feels make cry but not think.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** If I owned those little motherfuckers, Destiel would have happened ages ago.  
And human!Impala too.**

* * *

"Cas? Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"What—?"

"I never wanted this to happen."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Please, forgive me, Dean Winchester. I'm so sorry."

"Cas?"

"So sorry."

* * *

"Sam, have you seen Cas?"

"Not since yesterday evening. Is everything alright?"

"I… I don't know."

* * *

"Should we call him?"

"What, like his phone?"

"It's worth a shot."

"Okay."

"…_You have reached the voice mail of— I still don't understand why I have to say my name. Don't they know who they are calling?"_

"Well?"

"No luck."

* * *

"It's been three weeks, Sammy. What are we supposed to do now?"

"Wait, I guess."

"We've been doing that since he disappeared. I think the waiting moment has passed."

"What do you suggest, then?"

"I don't know! What if he's in danger, or hurt, or lost, or—"

"Dean. He's an angel. He'll be okay."

* * *

"Charlie?"

"Dean? Wow, it's been so long. How're you doing?"

"I— Great. Everything's great. Yeah. Awesome."

"Really? Because you don't really sound so 'awesome' to me. Is Sam there?"

"Uh, yeah, he's doing… something in the kitchen. Don't know."

"Hmm-hmm. So, any special reason why you called?"

.

"Dean?"

"No, not really."

* * *

"Cas, if you can hear me, please send a sign."

* * *

"Heard you screaming. More nightmares?"

"Yes."

"Here, have some coffee."

"Thanks, Sammy."

* * *

"Sammy?"

"Perhaps he's in danger. I don't even know. It's been so long I'm starting to lose my mind."

"I know."

"What are you supposed to do when your guardian angel disappears?"

"I wish I knew."

* * *

"Castiel? Please, we need you."

* * *

"Cas?"

"No, just me. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, Sam."

* * *

"More pie, Dean?"

"No, thanks."

* * *

"…_You have reached the voice mail of— I still don't understand why I have to say my name. Don't they know who they are calling?"_

"Dammit, Cas."

* * *

"Any luck?"

"Sleeping or finding Cas?"

"Both, I guess."

"No."

* * *

"I beg you, come here. Look, I'm on my knees and everything. Okay, from this perspective it looks a little dirty and—not really where I wanted to go. Listen, I get it, you're an angel and have to do important things like save the world or some other shit. But what about us? Sam misses you a lot. And I… I miss you even more."

* * *

"Fuck off."

"I didn't say anything."

"Good."

* * *

"Sammy, are you using your computer?"

"Not that busty Asians page again. It messes up with my laptop."

"Are you okay if I look up how to slap someone who's not here?"

"Go right ahead."

* * *

"Hell to the fucking no."

"Dean, relax. It's just a small ghost less than one hour away."

"Sammy, you are not going alone."

"Well, it's going to be a little difficult for you to follow me, with a broken leg and all that."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

* * *

"D—Dean?"

"Sammy? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Please tell me you aren't hurt."

"I—I can't… Dean."

"Just hold on, Sammy. I'll find a way to get there."

* * *

"You're lucky your brother is even alive, Mr. Maxwell. Five more minutes and Samuel would be dead."

"But he's gonna get better, right, Doc?"

"There's no reason why he shouldn't be. However, he is severely injured. It would be best if we just let him rest."

* * *

"You are a fucking dick, man. Sammy was in danger and you didn't help him? That's low, even for an asshole like you. I would have honestly expected if I was the one in danger. But Sam? Jesus, what has the kid ever done to you? He loves you and you are like a brother to him. You don't want to help him? Fine. You can rot in hell for all I care. Just don't come back again."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Sammy, I should have been there to protect you. I'm so sorry."

* * *

"You fucking cunt, leaving us without any explanation. You want to choose Heaven over us? Fine, be that way. But I really thought that choice was made ages ago when you decided to fight with us."

* * *

"I know you can hear me, Sammy. I don't even need you to say anything. I just— maybe they are right. Maybe everything would be better if I wasn't here. Cas wouldn't have to be involved in mundane shit and you'd still be able to have your dream career, and marry Jess, and have a beautiful family. I just fuck everything up."

* * *

"Please, _please_, Castiel, I beg you. Don't let Sammy die. Not again. Please."

* * *

"Any news?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Maxwell. Your brother is not yet in the safe zone. I'm sorry."

"'S okay, Doc."

* * *

"You are a goddamned traitor, you know that, Cas? Sammy is sick. Like, real sick. And you're still being an idiot and ignoring us. Sometimes I hate what you've become, Castiel."

* * *

"Dean?"

"Sammy? Oh, fuck, I'm so glad you're okay. How're ya feeling?"

"Like shit. But what can I say, at least I didn't die this time."

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Maybe. Any news about… you know?"

"No, that dickhead is still ignoring my calls. But you know what? But you know what? You're safe and alive, and that's all that matters. Castiel can go fuck himself."

"What the heck are you saying, Dean? He's your best friend and he gave up lots of things just for you. He pulled you out of hell. Literally. And now you're turning your back on him? Why, because he has 'more important business' up there?"

"No, Sammy. Because he knew you were in danger and did nothing to save you."

* * *

"Dean?"

.

"Dean, I know you're in there."

.

"Open the goddamned door."

.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

.

"Dean, I'm coming in."

.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Sammy."

* * *

"Why would you do that?"

"What, get drunk? Like it's the first time I do it."

"And what an amazing coincidence that you decide to drink yourself to oblivion on the first anniversary of Cas' disappearance, don't you think?"

"I didn't even notice. Told you, we don't need him. I just drank a little too much."

"Liar."

"Look, if you don't want to believe me—"

"I'll believe you when you stop trying to lie to yourself."

* * *

"Uh, Cas? I'm Sam. Look, I get that you're an angel and that you're probably in something big, like saving the world or something like that. And I know it's not the same living between those who are like you, immortal and powerful, than being stuck with us. I get it, I really do. But Dean's starting to lose his mind, even if he doesn't want to admit that he misses you. Just— Just remember that we are your family too."

* * *

"I can't believe you got drunk again, Dean. I really thought we left that behind."

"'S all that fucking angel's fault."

"I know. I know."

* * *

"Sammy, what are you doing?"

"Calling Cas' phone."

"And…?"

"Even the voicemail is gone. It's almost as if…"

"As if he never existed."

* * *

"Don't you think about Cas when you look at the stars?"

"Heartbreak's turned you into a sap, Dean."

"I'm not heartbroken."

"I beg to differ."

* * *

"Sometimes I hope that you never come into our lives again, but other times I want it more than anything."

.

"Dammit, Cas. I still don't understand how you manage to mess with my head like this, even when you're not here."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

"For what?"

"For being an awful brother and acting like a lovesick teenager girl."

"Dean. It's okay. We all have been there. You don't have to apologize for anything."

"And Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"You're the best brother anyone could ask for."

* * *

"Cas?"

"Hello, Dean."

"This is a dream, isn't it?"

"Yes."

.

"I am sorry."

"'S okay, I guess. Why don't you sit with me?"

"It would be my pleasure."

.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Are you ever coming back?"

.

"Cas?"

* * *

**Yikes. It seemes better when I wrote it. So, possible doubts:**

**1\. When one of them is talking to Castiel but receive no answer, they are praying to him. Although I'm quite sure you figured that one out. Sam only prays to Castiel one time, the rest are Dean's prayers.**

**2\. Dean acts so out of character (and like a fucking asshole, tbh) because he's heartbroken, but the angry kind of heartbroken, not the sad kind. Does that make any sense?**

**3\. Dream-Cas wasn't the real Castiel that suddenly decided to appear in Dean's dreams because he missed the Winchesters or some other shit. No. This one was created by Dean's brain because the kid was in fucking pain and I think I'm crying don't touch me.**

**Either way, we don't know shit about Cas. He could be dead for all we know.**

**4\. The blank spaces between a character's lines means that the other character is not answering.**

**5\. The reason why Castiel went away is left unanswered for a reason (I see what I did there). We don't know what his motives were. We don't know if he did it for the greater good or to protect the Winchester or for some other reason. We don't know if he's coming back.**

**And yes, I know this is nothing like Castiel, but let me remind you that there could be one of those annoying immortal dicks threatening him to torture and kill the Winchesters if he doesn't leave for all we know.**

**What I'm saying is, don't judge. You don't know the whole story.**

**(Actually, that's a very good life lesson. Apply that to real life.)**

**I really hope you liked this piece of rubbish written by my feels-and-sugar-induced dangerous self.**


End file.
